When was the last time you said something nice to yourself? Was it today or last week? Do you remember how it made you feel?

In our culture of accomplishment, competition, and achievement, we are taught to push ourselves to be better, stronger, smarter, and do more. From an early age, we are told that we can do better if we just try harder. In order to improve, we compare ourselves to peers, siblings, classmates, and total strangers to identify our shortcomings and flaws.

For some people, the messages are harsher and more overt, such as “you are not as…


Raising a child is a never-ending lesson in understanding our children and understanding ourselves. Every day, I awake to the sound of my children in various states of being. Some days they are happy and running around without a care in the world. Other days, they awake frightened, irritated, and needing to be consoled. Once I gain my bearings, I try to figure out how I feel and what is going on inside me.

Some days, we are both happy and able to meet each other quickly. Other days, we are on very different wavelengths, and I need to push…


Today begins the end of shelter-in-place (SIP) and the return to some kind of normalcy for our life. I have a four-year-old son going into pre-K and an eight-year-old daughter going into 3rd grade. Both kids have started all-day summer camps with modifications and restrictions to accommodate social distancing

I have been longing to have them return to a regular schedule and be relieved from the 24/7 duties of parenting and teaching. During SIP, the days turned into nights and then returned to days. The weekdays felt like weekends and the weekends felt like an extension of the week. We…

Steve Disselhorst

Leadership coach, DEI consultant, gay dad, and author of the memoir Determined To Be Dad: A Journey of Faith, Resilience, and Love

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